


Lost souls, rising

by tangledupinmist



Category: Orange is the New Black
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-10-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:14:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 18,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24943681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tangledupinmist/pseuds/tangledupinmist
Summary: This is a collection of missing scenes between Natalie and Joe, following the show's timeline and illustrating their developing relationship. There were so many missing scenes to fill that I couldn't resist. Plus, there's decidedly too little fanfic about these two out there.
Relationships: Joe Caputo/Natalie "Fig" Figueroa
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	1. Good Talkers

**Author's Note:**

> We’ve all been surprised by the pairing of Fig and Caputo in season 6 – me, at least, didn’t see it coming, but surprisingly it really worked. I find them hilarious together and as there isn’t very much fanfic about them out there I wrote some myself.  
> I actually wrote this a few months ago, never intending to publish it. But when I re-discovered it a few days back I thought “why not?” (Also, I am supposed to do 47292 things more important than revising my fanfic, but it’s what helps me cope with stress atm, I guess).  
> I have drafted 15 chapters, but don’t know how soon I am getting to really revising and posting all of them. It will follow the timeline of the show and consist of missing scenes we’ve been left to guess about. Plenty of room for writers’ imagination   
> The story begins with the scene in 4.12 where Joe turns up at Natalie’s house at night, right before the riot.  
> Hope you enjoy.

“Talking sounds nice,” Joe said and entered Natalie’s house.

Natalie closed the door and casually leaned against it with her back, a smile, part bitter, part seductive playing around her lips while Joe stood in the hallway, taking a look around.

“So. Husband not home tonight, huh?” he asked.

“Some committee meeting, or sponsor dinner, or whatever, I don’t fucking care,” she replied bitterly. She looked down at her feet for a short moment. Then she lifted her head, looked at Joe, raised her glass and said: “Come on, have a glass with me and we’ll talk, alright?”

Before he could say anything, she walked past him and Joe followed her through the hallway on into the large, modern kitchen. He momentarily paused near the door, watching her taking another glass from one of the cupboards. He noticed how spotlessly clean the room was. Nothing seemed out of place. No dishes on the sink, no half-empty bottles of wine, no bread crumbs, and not even some fruit or vegetables neatly arranged in a bowl or basked. It was a kitchen meant to be decorative, not one for cooking, and feeling at home, he thought.

Natalie held out the glass, now filled to the brim with red wine, to Joe, prompting him to move close to her. He took the glass from her and imitated her pose, leaning against the counter with one side of his hip, so they were facing each other. Natalie now raised her glass towards him: “Cheers, beer can. To all the lost ideals and broken promises we’ve encountered along the way,” she said. Joe took the glass from Natalie, half-emptied with a few gulps and put it down on the counter. He cocked his head and looked at Natalie who held her glass to her chest and watched him, now with a small smile playing around her lips. Clearly, she had recognized his need to fill himself with some liquid courage before talking to her.

Joe looked at her for a moment, kneading his hands, in an attempt to suppress his sudden desire to touch her. “How did you do it?” he asked. “Do this fucking job for what, ten years, twelve?”  
Natalie pursed her lips before taking another sip from her glass and putting it down next to his so closely the two glasses clinked lightly. “I am not like you, Joe,” she said and cocked her head at him. ”I never wanted to be a good person. I just wanted to do my job and I knew this meant some tough decisions. To some it meant I had to be a bitch.”

Joe shook his head, his expression gentle. “I was around when you first started. I had just become captain of the guards. You wanted to replace me but you didn’t find someone more competent, …” his voice trailed off, with him trying to remember a younger Natalie. He had always found her unnerving and incredibly annoying. Not now, though, he thought, while his eyes wandered from her face down to her breasts, covered by her, certainly very expensive, top.

Natalie smirked. “Well, that was long time ago. I remember you being a total and complete creep even back then. But the others were even more incompetent than you at the time.” She breathed in and out and took a step towards him, closing the distance between them. She placed her left hand on Joe’s outer thigh and slowly moved it inwards until it reached his groin. She began lightly moving her fingers across his balls and her smirk widened when Joe began to wince.

“We said we would just be talking,” he hissed through his teeth. He felt tiny beads of sweat beginning to cover his forehead and temples, and the back of his neck began to feel immensely hot. Natalie leaned closer to him and whispered: “My fingers just want to talk to your balls for a bit. That’s all.” She continued her ministrations while leaning back and reaching for her glass with her other hand. She took a few sips, her eyes never leaving Joe’s face. “And what part of you would like to talk to me, beer can?” she added in a seductive voice, putting her now empty glass down and tightening her grip on him. Her other hand moved towards his tie and she gently tugged at it while whispering: “I think you need to take this off. You seem to get all hot in that fancy suit of yours.”

Joe groaned, snatched his glass and emptied it in one draught. He almost slammed it down on the counter and began tugging at Natalie’s top. Before he could pull it over her head, Natalie stilled his movement. “Not here. I’m not in the mood for kitchen sex tonight. Let’s move upstairs.”  
Joe stopped in his movement, “Upstairs? Your bedroom?” he asked in disbelief, as if something was dawning on him. “Sorry, I can’t …”  
Natalie chuckled. “Don’t worry, it’s just my bedroom, emphasis on my. Jason and I have been sleeping in separate bedrooms for some time now. You don’t have to worry about jumping into another man’s bed.”

Before she had finished her last sentence, Joe grabbed Natalie by the hips and yanked her towards him. He ground his pelvis into hers and greedily buried his face in the crook of her shoulder, nipping at her neck. “No marks in visible spots,” Natalie hissed, winding herself out of his grip and indicating him to follow her. Joe appreciated her ass from behind while following her upstairs. The moment they entered her bedroom, he turned her around, and almost violently pushed her backwards onto the large bed. Joe didn’t even bother to look around in her bedroom while simultaneously tugging at her and his own clothes. No more words were spoken, only his commanding “on your knees”, once they were naked, his voice hoarse with need and desire.

* * *

Joe woke up in the early morning light. It took him a few seconds to realize where he was and why he was where he was. He was at Fig’s house, in Fig’s bed, and Fig was actually sleeping next to him. They had fucked a few times, he couldn’t quite remember how many times, three, probably, according to his memory. And as much as he’d like to, he wouldn’t probably manage more than three times in one night, he thought wistfully. He wasn’t in his twenties anymore. Joe lifted himself up and had to suppress a groan. His body felt sore, but in a good way. His head, too, but in a not so good way. They had had wine and later switched to scotch, in between the first and second round. Maybe later, his memory was somewhat blurry.

He turned his head and watched Natalie sleep. She had been drunk, too, last night. Not heavily, but clearly. But she had been a volcano as ever. She was so very different from Linda, even though on the outside, both seemed right out bitches to others. But somehow, Joe sensed, there was something genuine, something decidedly un-bitchy within the woman now sleeping next to him. He had come to the conclusion that deep down, Natalie did actually have a heart, but had learned to shield it very carefully from the outside. Linda, however….

Joe let himself fall back onto the pillow and closed his eyes again. He didn’t want to think about Linda now, not after last night. He would have, at some moment, but not now. He didn’t even know why he had come to Natalie’s house in the first place. He had just had to let off some steam after another shitty day at the prison. Those assholes of COs, that stupid fucker Piscatella, … so Joe had jumped into his car, needing to get away for just an hour or else he would just have fired the whole gang. They deserved it. But then, what? He couldn’t run a prison without guards. So he had been driving, Bruce on the radio, just needing to cool off. But then, after half an hour of driving, he had realized that he had made it all the way down to Albany. It took him a while to remember where she lived; he had been at her place once before, delivering some papers. And it was only after he had rung the doorbell, that it occurred to him that her husband might open the door. But then, there she was, and he had poured his heart out, and certainly some part of him had hoped she’d invite him in, even if it was a pity fuck, for both of them. He didn’t care. It had been a good night.

Joe turned his head to her again and noticed how soft her features looked in her sleep. They had had sex quite a few times now, but he had never seen her in this vulnerable state. He liked it. It was so unlike the Natalie he knew, the one with her guard pulled up ten feet high. He wondered when she had removed her make-up. He probably had fallen asleep after their last round whereas she must have taken some time in the bathroom. He noticed how he had never before seen her without any, and he thought it suited her. Made her look a lot younger and softer. Joe thought about how much he wanted to stay in bed, and just look at her. Silent, for once, not commenting on his words of actions, just there, quite and beautiful.

But then he remembered why he was here in the first place, and how things at Litchfield were at the moment. “Oh fuck”, he whispered. He shouldn’t have come over, and he’d have to get back in an instant. He noticed a small alarm clock on the nightstand and stretched his head to get a look. It said 6:04, and Joe slowly got out of bed. He’d have to hurry back to Litchfield, no stopover at home for a shower and a change of clothes. Joe tried to collect his items in the dim light. When he lifted his pants from the floor, his phone slipped out of his pocket and fell on the floor with a soft thud, somewhat muffled by the plushy carpet. He checked it and groaned: “Oh fuck!”, when he noticed that he had 28 unanswered calls from Litchfield and lots of messages and voicemails. Something serious must have happened there.

He quickly gathered the rest of his items and tried to sneak out the door. Just when he was about to open the door he heard Natalie stir, and say in a hoarse voice: “Did you think you could just sneak out like that?”

Joe turned around. “I’m sorry, Fig. I have to hurry. There’s a lot of shit going on at the prison right now and they need me back there.”

Natalie propped herself up on her elbows, causing the duvet to slide down and expose her naked breasts. Joe felt his dick getting harder, but even though it cost him a lot of willpower, he resisted. He had to go. He had a gut feeling that something must have gone terribly wrong at Litchfield after he had left last night.  
“As you like, beer can. Thanks for the talk,” Natalie said, winking at him, a smirk playing around her face.  
“Yeah, yeah, it was great talking you you. Really great,” Joe replied. “Let me know when you want to talk next time, alright?” and went downstairs.

Natalie remained in her bed, now on her back again, listening to Joe close the front door and fire up his car. She was enjoying the feel of the moment after unexpectedly having had a great night - one which had begun pretty lonely, after Jason hadn’t come home the fifth night in a row. She had been trying hard to not let his affair get to her so much. But yet she failed constantly, and she had found that meeting Joe, fucking Joe, did a lot to rebuild her shattered self. So it had been a really pleasant surprise to find Joe at her doorstep last night. And then, with him admitting he had done her wrong, basically apologizing for misjudging her, she felt they were even, which now came on top of a sexually very satisfying night.

She smirked when she thought about his confession of having a girlfriend. It was an extra satisfaction to her that she had left a bite mark on his neck, clearly visible, so that it wouldn’t leave doubt he had been with her. Natalie had never met Linda Ferguson in person, but from what she had heard, Linda wasn’t the woman she would ever want to meet. She was gloating at having fucked that woman’s boyfriend.

Natalie snuggled deeper into her bed and thought how she was feeling truly sorry for Joe, even though she had all reasons for feeling spiteful. He didn’t really bother her anymore, she realized. Beneath the creepy outside of Joe Caputo there was something that touched her. Perhaps because he wanted so desperately to do the right thing, and be a good person, even though he kept failing repeatedly.

She had never been a good person, even though she once had started out with ideals. Her first job had been working for a state senator working for correction reform. The reform never even made it to the house, and the senator never got re-elected. Natalie had learned a few things about how impossible it was to change the prison-industrial complex, at least not for the better. At least she had then gotten the job at Litchfield, and Jason had benefitted from many of her contacts for his own political career.  
Natalie turned on her left side and sighed. She had had a short night and would catch up on some sleep. She didn’t have to do anything meaningful anyway, so she might just drift off again and forget about her miserable life for a while longer while Joe had to return to that hellhole of a prison. It wasn’t her concern anymore.


	2. I can't believe they let us go

“Jesus fucking Christ, I can’t believe they finally let us go,” Natalie groaned. It was almost twelve hours after the riot had ended. Twelve long hours during which it had once seemed the riot was over. Then it wasn’t. Then again, and they had toasted, but then, someone had died.

Natalie, closely followed by Joe, stepped out of the trailer in which they had been skyping with the governor and his assistant. Both stood outside for a moment and deeply breathed in the cool night air - a welcome change to the hot, sticky air inside. It was well after midnight, and both watched the last few of the inmates, who had been rounded up in the prison yard, being ushered into a bus with its motor already running.

For the past six hours they had been questioned by and spoken to everyone on the fucking scene. Every goddam reporter at that press conference and countless officials from the governor’s office, the police - and probably everyone’s grandmothers, too. And now, finally, the last briefing with the governor was over. They were let go for the night. Until they’d have to begin picking up the pieces tomorrow morning. Well, Joe actually would have to. Not Natalie. She had done her best, negotiating with the rioters on behalf of the governor, only to have Jefferson throw the enormous gains they had made during the many long hours they’d spent discussing the inmates’ demands.

“I wonder where they are going to take them,” Joe said quietly, as if talking to himself. He suddenly sounded weary, completely worn out.

Natalie raised her eyebrows for a short moment while moving her tongue between her upper lip and front teeth. She watched the scene for a while, until the last bus had taken off into the dark night. “I assume they are going to distribute them to MCC prisons in nearby states, wherever there is a free bunk, or cleaning cabinet or whatever cage they will find,” she said, her voice missing her signature sarcastic undertone.

Joe pressed the heels of his hands to his temples and spat in disgust: “Yeah, those fuckers will surely find a free spot for each of them.”

Natalie sighed and gently patted his shoulder. “Come on, Joe. Go home. Get some sleep and then you can start worrying all over again tomorrow,” she said almost gently before she started to walk into the direction of the prison car park.

Joe looked at her walking away and his expression softened. Was that a trace of compassion he had just noticed in her voice? She, too, must be exhausted as hell, he thought. Her face was pale, almost ashen, and even though she was walking with her back straight and her head up high, he could tell by the way her gait was slower than usual how very tired she really was. Someone not familiar with her wouldn’t be able to tell, though, he mused. From her outward appearance was as spotless as if she had just turned up for work, her costume without wrinkles, make-up perfect, every single hair in place. During their briefings she had just been as sharp and on point as only Natalie Figueroa could be, never lost concentration, never showed a trace of weariness.

He, in comparison, was looking like a piece of shit, and he certainly felt like one. Not only because he was wearing that sorry-looking suit they had brought him. He desperately needed a shower, and a shave. And a drink. Also, he was fucking tired and hungry, and the whole situation was getting at him. Everyone tonight had questioned him about his role in the riot, he was the warden, after all. In the end he had either snapped at people or said nothing at all, he just had it for tonight. He wasn’t a pro like Natalie. Yet, beneath his anger and frustration, he was terribly self-conscious. Ever since he had begun to understand just what had happened at his prison over the past days, he couldn’t stop asking himself what exactly might he have done to prevent events from spiraling out of control.

Joe shook himself out of his thoughts while letting out a short moan and then began to follow Natalie. Yes, she was right. It was late. They hadn’t slept in two days. Both their nerves were stretched thin. He couldn’t think straight anymore. He needed a break.

He caught up with Natalie and they kept on walking next to each other for a few moments, until Joe looked at her and said: “Where you headin’ to? Please tell me they put you up at some hotel.” Natalie stopped and turned her head, facing him. “A hotel? Who should have put me up there? The governor’s office? Please, Joe, welcome back to reality,” she sneered.

Joe had stopped next to her. Now he took another step so he was standing in front of her. His face was showing an expression of genuine surprise: “Wait, what? Seriously?” He closed his eyes for a brief moment and scratched his forehead, before he continued: “You’re not going back all the way to Albany tonight! Not when you haven’t slept in, what, two days.”

“It’s fine, Joe. I am a big girl, you know,” Natalie said in that annoyed voice he both dreaded and found a turn on, when in a more energized state. Natalie huffed and impatiently threw back her hair over her shoulders, indicating she was done discussing where she would be spending the night.

“No, Natalie, you’re not driving,” Joe said firmly, blocking her from walking towards her car by stepping closer to her; so close that his chest almost touched hers. He gently took her right wrist with his left hand and quietly said: “I mean it. Please. Two people have died already. Let’s not make it three. I don’t need you crashing your car because you fell asleep or something. You come with me. You can have the bed, I’ll camp on the couch.”

“Please, Joe, I am a - “ she protested, trying to wiggle free of his hold, but Joe tightened his grip.

“No, Natalie,” he said, his voice now firm again. “For once, you’re going to listen to me.” He paused and looked at her, his face earnest. Then a twinkle entered his eyes: ”Just come along and I’ll behave, I promise,” he added, smirking.

“Alright, alright. But only if you make me coffee in the morning,” Natalie replied slowly, lifting her left hand in protest. But she was smiling a small smile; she had to at his inability to not take care of her even when he himself was clearly so worn out and deflated.

“Oh yeah, and there’s a lot more I can make you…,” Joe murmured seductively and chuckled at her annoyed eye-roll that followed before she finally shook his hand off her wrist in a gesture similar to that of fending off an annoying bug. Then she went to unlock her car. “You go on ahead and I’ll follow you,” she said and got into her vehicle.

About twenty minutes later, Joe and Natalie entered his house. Natalie knew the place from their weekly fuck dates, but had never stayed for the night. She’d usually arrive sometime around six, just when he’d be home after work. Then she would leave sometime around eight, sometimes later, depending on how many times they would have fucked. Now, entering the house in the middle of the night, it felt entirely different to her, even as Joe switched on the lights. But Natalie didn’t actually feel much or give a fuck. Even though she would never have admitted it, she was glad Joe had offered her to stay the night.

He was right, of course. Driving back all the way to Albany wouldn’t have been a good idea. And why hadn’t the fucking governor’s office taken better care of her? She had been too proud to ask for a favor that, in her opintion, she should never have had to ask for in the first place. After all it was her who had tried to save the governor’s ass during the failed negotiations with Taystee. She had given all she could, and they really couldn’t blame her for the turn for the worse the whole fucking nightmare had become. (Not that anyone had. In fact, Joe as the sole representative of MCC had been the aim of everyone’s wrath during all the debriefings).

Natalie would have to ask Jason to send the governor a friendly reminder that this certainly wasn’t the way one treated the person on whom one relied to do the dirty work. Two days ago they had begged her to take on the negotiations. Begged. As soon as she had received the first phone call from the governor’s assistant, Natalie had known they would not find anyone more suitable than her when it came to the negotiations. Yet, she had twice declined their request and only agreed once the governor himself had called her. Natalie Figueroa wasn’t up for grabs and she knew her worth. But this all would have to wait until the next day. Now she was in for a bed and nothing more. Not even the steak she had been craving all night.

Joe took her coat from her and all of a sudden, the stress of the past hours took its toll. Natalie noticed how very exhausted she really was. For a moment she wondered whether she should just let herself fall down on the couch in the living room, just a few feet away. But then, Joe said: “Alright, you go on take a shower first. Do you want me to change the sheets while you’re in there."

Natalie chuckled. “Are you kidding me? This is the first thing you are thinking about? Changing the fucking sheets? Really?“

“Why is this so funny?” he asked, genuinely sounding hurt.

“You never once had fresh sheets when we were fucking,” Natalie replied, wrinking her nose, while taking off her heels and gently pushing them near the wall with one foot.

“Yeah, because we were just using the bed for fucking, not for sleeping,” he replied, causing Natalie to grin. “Oh Joe, you’re such a pussy. Just bring me a towel,” she shouted while turning towards the stairs, “and make it a fresh one if possible,” she added, tugging her blouse over her head while slowly walking upstairs.

Joe watched her disappear until he heard the bathroom door click. Then he noticed he was still holding her coat, and briefly buried his nose in the black, soft fabric, reveling in her scent. Next, he hung it in the closet and followed her upstairs where he went into his bedroom. First, he almost violently tore off his suit, shirt and socks until he was dressed only in his boxers and his undershirt. He carelessly kicked the clothes into a corner of the room and gathered a few items from his closet and a towel from the drawer where he kept them. Then he walked to the bathroom across from his bedroom.

The bathroom was steam-filled and Joe listened to the running water for a few seconds, imagining a naked Natalie rubbing off the stench and dirt from the past 30 hours. He grinned wickedly upon realizing she had been using his shower gel. It wasn’t his regular shower gel, it was his Natalie shower gel. It was an organic liquid soap, very expensive, he was certain – not that he had any clue where or why one would buy these things in the first place. Natalie had brought it for their second sex date. She had breezed into his living room, barely said hello, and thrown a small green bottle into his lap, aiming perfectly close to the beer can, while he sat on his couch. “Use this first if you want to fuck me”, she had commanded, and complained how the scent of his own shower gel was making her sick (the cheap stink of it were her actual words).

Joe suppressed a moan caused by the memories of how much she had shown her appreciation of him smelling the way she wanted him to that night and shouted: “Hey, madame, here’s your fresh towel. I also brought you a clean T-shirt in case you don’t trust me and don’t want to sleep naked.”

Natalie turned off the shower and stuck her head out of the stall: “Give me the fucking towel,” she said gruffly, who had been standing by the door, watching her. He walked a few steps into her direction and handed her the towel. Natalie stepped out of the shower, yanked the towel from his hands and wrapped herself into it.

Joe held out the T-Shirt at her, too, and grinned when she realized what he had brought for her. “Ew, Side Boob? Really? This is disgusting. If I wasn’t so damn fucking tired, I’d strangle you with  
that rag right here and now.”

Joe grinned while she pulled on his T-shirt and for a moment considered a saucy remark about how much of a turn on she was when wearing this particular item, but then decided not to. He was tired, and turn on or not, he desperately needed sleep. He wouldn’t probably be physically able to fuck her now even if he wanted to. So he just kept watching her rummaging through her purse and producing a toothbrush and toothpaste. She amazed him, what else did she carry around in that large bag of hers, he wondered.

“What, aren’t you able to move anymore? You know, you really should take a shower, too,” Natalie said, her voice muffled because she was brushing her teeth, which didn’t keep her from looking him up and down. “Or else, you will actually sleep on the couch because there is no way you are going to sleep in the same bed with me, all filthy and stinky.”

“Yeah, just waiting for you to leave the room,” Joe smirked. “With you I never know. Better watch my back.”

Natalie kept on brushing her teeth for a little while longer, then spat out and rinsed her mouth before replying sarcastically: “Oh please, don’t overdo it, beer can. Your power of seduction isn’t working tonight. All I want is a fucking bed. For sleeping. Full stop. Nothing else.” She wrinkled her nose at him and added: “And you, just go in there,” she nodded her head towards the shower,” the sooner, the better, believe me.”

Five minutes later, Joe entered his bedroom where he found Natalie already snuggled up into his bed. She had pulled up the sheets to her chin and her eyes were half-closed. He stood next to the bed for a while, watching her, trying to decide what to do now, until Natalie, her eyes still half-closed, said: “Come on, get into the goddam bed. I don’t bite. Not tonight.”

Joe grinned and groaned when he laid down at his side of the bed. His body suddenly felt ten years older. He settled on his side, facing Natalie, who by now had already closed her eyes and seemed to have drifted off to sleep already. Joe thought how this was the second time in less than one week that they were sharing a bed for the night, when during all the moths they had met for weekly fuck dates either of them couldn’t wait for Natalie to jump of out of his bed once their fucking was over.

“Sleep well, Fig,” Joe said gently. “You did a great job inside that prison, Natalie. I am sorry things took a turn for the worse.”

“Shut up and sleep, Joe,” Natalie murmured.


	3. "Jesus, I can’t believe she fucked me over again"

“Jesus, I can’t believe she fucked me over again, that bitch,” Joe shouted.

“Hell, Joe, calm down, buddy” Greg said, eyeing the audience in the bar who mostly didn’t pay attention to Joe’s outbreak as the live band was playing rather loud rock music. “How could she fuck you over in taking a job you didn’t want to have in the first place?”

Greg was Side Boob’s bass player and – since his divorce two years ago – Joe’s most steady drinking companion. During the months of his very messy divorce, Greg had been able to spill his guts to Joe whenever he needed it, and in the wake of the recent events at Litchfield and between Joe and Natalie, he was now returning the favor to his old friend. Tonight, though, Joe kept on rambling, but Greg was really only listening half-heartedly because he had spotted a redhead at the bar whom he had flirted with a week ago when he and Joe had last been drinking at their favourite bar in town.

“That’s not the point here. God, it’s just what she does, that fucking hell bitch,” Joe huffed and emptied the rest of his beer. He slammed the empty can on the table and closed his eyes for a few seconds, groaning out of frustration.

Greg smirked and forced himself to focus his attention back to Joe: “Oh come on. You know as well as I do that if she stood at your doorstep tonight, you’d let her in and fuck her like you always do, right? You’d not leave her outside, am I right?” Greg teased, flashing an evil grin at his friend.

Joe grunted. Of course, Greg was right. In the end, he’d always end up fucking Natalie. And she’d fuck him. Fuck him over.

“Jesus, shut up,” Joe complained. “Yes, she is freakin’ hot, but she’s such a bitch, a stone-cold heartless bitch.” He huffed and balled his fists on the table.

“Man, calm down. How is it that you’re getting all worked up over some shit company giving you paid leave from a job you never wanted to do in the first place? Especially in times like these, when you’d have to explain yourself everywhere why people were rioting under your watch. I think you’re the bitch here, man. Just take their money and shut the fuck up.”

Joe rolled his eyes. Of course, Greg was right,. Ever since Greg’s wife had left him for another man out of the blue he and Joe went out to drink and battle their loneliness at least once a month. Some time ago, after a few too many beers, Joe had admitted that not only found Natalie very hot, but he also even liked talking to her, being with her during their weekly fuck dates, even though it was pathetic. Because she was an ice queen, stone cold, without a heart or just a shred of a conscience. But, as much as Joe hated to admit it, he felt that somehow she seemed to be the only person around to truly understand him. It almost physically hurt him to admit this, even to his closest friend.

Sure it was alright to be angry with Natalie for having accepted the job, his job. But then, he could see why they would have offered her the job and he understood why she took it. He’d probably have done the same. During the past months she had repeatedly hinted at how bored she was with just being a stay-at-home state senator’s wife. This wasn’t her. This wasn’t Natalie. He’d been absolutely amazed by her when she had walked into the negotiations at the prison. She was back, the old Fig was back. He had never seen her so energized and high-spirited, even though they had been at odds for most of the time.

“Fuck, yes. I’d absolutely take her in, the fuckin’ bitch,” Joe hissed and slammed his right fist on the table.

“Uhh, easy, Joey, I think you’re in deep, aren’t you, huh?” Greg sneered.

“Get outta here,” Joe replied in a disgusted voice. “She’s hot, and she’s the best lay I may have ever had, but that’s about it. Doesn’t change the fact that she’s the biggest fucking bitch I ever met.”

“Nah, I don’t buy it,” Greg said. “You sound as if you do care about her quite a bit.”

Joe grunted and got up from his chair. “Fuck off. Fuck her. Want another beer?”

Greg nodded, and got up from his chair too, while indicating Joe to sit down with one hand. He’d say hello to the redhead, and take a break from Joe’s bad mood. He took a few steps toward the bar, and could not suppress a broad grin, thinking how he had never before seen Joe getting worked up over a woman. His old buddy really was in head over heels.

* * *

An hour later, Joe walked into his living room after having driven home and picked up a six-pack on his way. He’d never get round to getting drunk at the bar. After he had spent about fifteen minutes watching Greg flirt with a very ordinary-looking redhead, Joe had assumed his friend might get lucky tonight, and left.

Now he flopped down on his couch, opened a beer and flicked through TV. He stopped briefly for a documentation about salmon in Alaska, wondering if he might cook himself some salmon for dinner tomorrow, writing an imaginary grocery list.

He emptied his beer, and after he put down the can on the table, took his phone. He searched Natalie’s number and briefly considered calling her. But no, he’d called her last time, and what had he gotten? Her telling him she’d stolen his job while he’d been inside her. Not this time, bitch, he thought.

Joe put down his phone and opened another beer. He sighed. Then he took his phone again. He’d watch some porn, empty the remaining beers and fall asleep thinking of a naked Natalie. Maybe he’d text her tomorrow.

# 


	4. Missoury, really?

“Fuck you, Linda, you stupid cunt”, Joe hissed while leaving MCC’s headquarters ¬– a uniform, anonymous office building, just like all the idiot puppets working inside, he thought. He crossed the street and entered the small bar just across the building. He’d been here with Linda just a few weeks ago, he remembered bitterly, for an after work drink followed by a hot night at her place. Inside, Joe sat down on a bar stool and ordered a beer, a large one. Apparently, at 10:30 am, not many people did the same, given he was the only customer, but he didn’t care.

Fucking Missouri, he thought and hissed, causing the bartender to shoot him a compassionate look. He probably thought they’d just sacked him. How many miserable wretches might come here to drown their sorrows, right after MCC had spat them out? Fucking bitch Linda, of course, she only did that to get back to him, to have her personal vendetta against him. First give Fig his old job, and now send him to a place people went to die.

Joe emptied his beer almost half in a few draughts, then put his glass down and stared into the yellow liquid as if it was a crystal ball offering him answers to the many questions bubbling up in his mind. What kind of a fucking coward had he just been? Why had he accepted the offer rather than mustering up the courage of just telling Linda to go to hell? Instead, he had faltered, and had taken the safe road. Just like back when he wanted to play family with Lisa, he thought bitterly, almost 25 years back. A decision which had gotten him his job in the first place, and thus got him stuck in Litchfield on a life sentence. So now, after all he’d been through, he still hadn’t had enough, but would now soon be carrying on in this shit job, with MCC and fucking Linda as his boss. He was on death row.

But he needed to do something. Needed to get out, take his mind off his miserable situation. He couldn’t just rot away watching porn on his couch all day, and he would do just that if he hadn’t accepted Linda’s offer. Fucking Missouri. This wouldn’t just mean he would have to leave his band and the few friends he had made here in his many years in town. It also meant he would have to leave Natalie, and miss out on the chance of perhaps get to know her a little beyond being her fuckbuddy. He couldn’t help it but think of her as a likeable person, one he wanted to know better; her soul, not just her body which he found so incredibly sexy. Ever since the time they had spent together during the riot and the night afterwards, he had a growing desire to get to know her, the real her, the woman behind the expensive clothes, the warpaint-like make up and that icy snark. Not just fucking her, but spending time with her, watch TV, cook together, go for a walk, find out about her favorite songs, all that shit. Having shed his complete abhorrence of her, he was increasingly convinced that the real Natalie was actually a decent person, and certainly a very insecure one; a woman who over the years simply had perfected the way to to guard her true self behind some very think concrete walls, as unbreachable as those of Litchfield Max.

The morning after the riot, after she had slept at his house, they had had coffee together, in his kitchen, like a regular couple. They had talked about the riot, but also just chatted about this and that, and seemed to have a genuinely good time together. Neither had seemed to want to end their conversation, though it came to an abrupt end when Natalie realized it was already after ten and she was supposed to meet Jason in Albany for lunch. Afterwards, his house had suddenly felt empty to Joe, and he had no longer been able to avoid facing the big pile of shit he’d have to deal with back at the prison.

Now, back with MCC, though with the shittiest job they had to offer, Joe emptied his beer, left a few bills on the counter and stepped out on the street again. He flashed a brief look full of contempt to the top of MCC’s headquarters where Linda, newly appointed Vice President, had her new office. Next he took in a few breaths and began to slowly cross the street and walk towards the MCC parking lot. Alright, he’d go to Missouri, but not cut off ties with down here entirely. He might return for the weekends, and the holidays and so on. He had long since paid off his house, he wouldn’t have to sell it right away. He’d find some cheap place for rent at his new workplace. It wasn’t just for Natalie, he told himself. After all those years with his Side Boob guys, he wasn’t ready to let his band down, he thought. It really was for them, and himself. He wouldn’t get to die down there, he swore.

* * *

Later that day, at his house, Joe was watching porn on his couch after having some more beers, each one after having called another moving company and being outraged at the horrendous amount of money they wanted to charge for moving a few boxes to Missouri. He was in the distinct mood of punching someone in the face, when he heard a familiar voice shout from the front door: “Hi, anyone home?”

Joe lifted himself up from his couch when Natalie entered the living room. She had never bothered to wait outside, always entered without even knocking. “Fig, I didn’t expect to see you here,” he said, clearly surprised, remaining standing in a short distance from her.

“Why, it’s Tuesday, and you never cancelled our dinner date,” she replied snarkily, shrugging off her coat with a fluid motion of her whole body, dropping it on the floor next to the couch along with her purse. Joe smiled lightly, thinking that her gesture looked so very familiar to him by now. It was the gesture of someone returning home from work, and he wondered just how many times they had been through this dance. Her arriving at his house, them have a drink, do a bit of small talk, have a fuck, sometimes a second, before she would put her clothes back on, splash some water into her face and leave in a whiff, with her scent still lingering in the air and his sheets for the rest of the evening.

Natalie now stood in front of Joe, cocked her head and said: “Well, beer can never was a more fitting name than today. Did you shower with beer or why that smell on you?” she said, her face taking on a disgusted expression, while she briefly brushed his left cheek with her right hand in a distant but affectionate gesture, one with oddly touched Joe to his core.

“Let’s say I had a fucking shitty day and needed some distraction,” Joe murmured, leaned in to her and attempted to kiss her. But Natalie took a step back, her face still showing repulse. “Eww, Joe, gross. Really, I might as well go and fuck a bar stool. Go brush your teeth.”

Joe rolled his eyes. “Come on, just have a beer, too, and you won’t notice."

“Or you just fuck me from behind and try to not breathe out close to my nose?” she replied curtly and walked towards the staircase. “What? Aren’t you coming?” Natalie asked when she had arrived at the bottom of the stairs but Joe hadn’t yet followed her.

He had momentarily lost his mood, if he had ever had been in one today. Not even watching porn had really turned him on today. And now there she was, sexy as hell, but he suddenly didn’t feel as horny as usually. He’d actually rather just sit down with her and have a drink. Talk a bit, fuck later, maybe, but just spend a little time.

“Come on, Joe, I’d like to go home some time not too late tonight, so if you’re not up to it, just tell me and I’m off.” She raised her eyebrows with her expression changing between bored and resentful. Which just did it for Joe; he couldn’t resist her bitchiness and those annoying expression of her. He’d show her just how pissed he was, really, he thought.

“You… “he hissed and closed the distance between them in a few strides. “I’ll show you who’s in charge here.” Natalie sneered and quickly turned around to climb the stairs. He followed her upstairs and threw her on his bed. “Yeah, that’s the spirit, you dickhead,” Natalie groaned when he pressed her into the mattress and began to tug at her top. “Careful, this blouse cost me 300 bucks. If you tear it, you’re gonna pay for it”, she warned him.

“Shut the fuck up and lift your perfect little ass, Fig,” Joe panted. He had stopped bothering with Natalie’s blouse and yanked down his own pants with one hand while tearing hers half down. “Ah, that’s the spirit, Joe,” she encouraged him.

Ten minutes later, Joe lay on his back, catching his breath. Natalie had already jumped out of bed and was in the bathroom, quickly cleaning herself up. When she returned to the bedroom and saw Joe, still breathless and sweaty, in his bed, she snickered and said: “Jeez, beer can, it wasn’t that much of a ride, and you’re that worn out? Not gettin’ any younger, huh?”

“Oh fuck off, Natalie,” Joe grunted.

“Hey, seriously, what’s up?” Natalie asked while pulling on her suit pants. “Something the matter? You seem a bit off tonight.”

Joe propped himself up on his elbows, looked at Natalie and said: “I got transferred to Missouri. Will be going the end of this month.”

Natalie stopped her movement of pulling her blouse over her head and looked at him with an expression of genuine surprise: “No way, really? Jeez, isn’t that the place where the wardens usually end up killing themselves? Oh fuck, you must’ve really pissed off Linda.”

“Shut up, Fig,” Joe said angrily. For once, he was tired of their constant fighting and bitching. “I don’t need you to tell me how much of a shitshow this company is.”

“Oh please, Joe, this is entirely on you. I told you, keep still and take their money, but no, you had to run to Jeff What’s-his-name and beg for your old job,” Natalie, her blouse now on, replied, her voice getting angrier. “What did you expect? “Oh yes, great job Joe, how can we reward you for having started a fucking riot at Litchfield? Wanna be the next president of MCC or what? Joe, are you fucking kidding me?” She angrily stepped into her shoes and straightened her blouse, occasionally shooting him furious glances.

Joe breathed in, wanting to retort with an even angrier remark, but then stopped himself. He let himself fall backward on his pillow and closed his eyes for a second. He had had enough for today. And he was tired. Also, there was a question he had wanted to ask her ever since she had walked into the door earlier today, and if they carried on like this she would be out of his house and probably have hit him in the face in under three minutes.

Natalie, now fully dressed and ready to leave, stood beside his bed and looked at him with an irritated expression: “What? What’s going on? Do you need a minute to come up with another insult for me or did the blood from your brain go south again? If so, sorry, not interested. I have to be up early tomorrow which means that I need to go to sleep early tonight, which in turn means that I – “

“Natalie, I want to take you out on a date” Joe interrupted her and sat up.

Now Natalie was the one reduced to silence. “You…what?” she finally asked after a few seconds of silence, completely baffled. “Alright, how many beers did you really have today? You don’t sound good at all.”

“No, listen, Natalie, I am serious,” Joe said, almost beggingly. He quickly got up, picked up his boxers from the floor and put them on, then stood in front of her, looked into her eyes pleadingly and said: “I will be leaving town in less than three weeks, and I thought I’d take you out for just one date. Our first and last one. Celebrate the good times we had. I’ll be gone after that. No strings attached. Shipped off to Missouri to die. You’ll forget I ever existed. Come on, how about Thursday night?”

Natalie shook her head and smiled a doubtful smile. “Well, the idea is kinda pathetic. Actually it’s very pathetic. But seeing I don’t have anything planned on Thursday… that is anything other than get drunk all by myself in an empty big house. So yeah, I might as well get drunk with you and maybe have a decent fuck afterwards. So fine, request accepted.” She pursed her lips and made a move towards the door, when Joe stopped her by lightly putting his right arm to her left elbow. He was grinning and cocked his head at her: “See, that wasn’t so hard, was it? So Thursday it is. I’ll pick you up at work and we’ll see how it goes from there.”

Natalie rolled her eyes but graced him with an almost tender smile. “Yeah, fine. Alright then, I’m off. See ya on Thursday, beer can.” She lightly raked Joe’s naked shoulder with her sharp fingernails and hurried out of his bedroom. Joe listened to her quick steps descending the stairs, heard her retrieve her purse and coat from the living room and leave his house without another good-bye.

When he heard the ignition of her car he let himself fall back on his bed pulled the bedsheet up to his nose in an attempt to smell some of her scent on it. He liked doing this, as it allowed him to revel a little while longer in the moment that had passed. So yes, they had a date, he thought, grinning widely. Then he remembered her every move from just fifteen minutes ago and moaned lightly. This time, he wouldn’t need his phone, he thought while removing his boxers again.


	5. A date with Beer Can? Why not.

“Oh Jesus, Natalie, what did you do?” Natalie sighed dramatically, looking herself briefly into the eyes in the rear mirror while leaving Joe’s driveway. She steered her car into the direction of the interstate and moaned. Wow, her life had become a fucking mess in less than a year. Yes, she had been happy to be called back to work, even if it was at fucking Litchfield, and even if it was for a shitshow company like MCC. She had been so relieved to leave this hellhole behind and move to Albany with Jason. And then, she had grown tired of her life as state senator’s decorative housewife in less than a week. Jason was never home, and even though they had agreed to try for a baby, she could tell that having sex with her wasn’t anything he enjoyed anymore. He stayed with her out of loyalty and so they would uphold the façade of a state senator’s picture postcard life. But both knew it all was just for show; just a few days ago, they had finally separated bedrooms. He was fucking Gavin, she was meeting up with Beer Can once or twice a week. So her life still was all just a fucking mess.

Had been for months, and this was why she had begun her fuck affair with beer can in the first place. Because she had been bored and because Joe was the greatest possible opposite of Jason. He only had a community college education, a working-class background, lacked career ambition and dressed really badly. Not to mention him being in need of a haircut, and that horrible moustache… But there was something about the man; something which Natalie couldn’t quite pin down, but which was making her come back to him every Tuesday for months now.

During the first months of their affair Natalie had never bothered to learning anything about Joe Caputo as a person. She had only been interested in one or two hours of distraction, which a distinct part of his anatomy was providing her, and oh it was providing her with a damn good time.

But somewhere along the way, she had occasionally started thinking about Joe. Bought him gifts when she was out shopping and saw something she thought he might like, such as a pair of boxers, or some expensive men’s shower gel. Or wondered whether he might like a particular kind of food or drink when she was shopping at some deli.

There was that one evening right before the riot, when he had rang her door bell. When she had opened the door and found him, she had already been drowning her sickening loneliness in almost a full bottle of wine. That night, Natalie had cooked dinner for her and Jason as it was their anniversary, their nineteenth. Then he had canceled last minute, something had come up. Something always came up, Natalie had thought bitterly while emptying half a glass of wine in one draw, wondering whether this something was actually work-related or whether it rather involved being up his assistant’s ass.

Then she had tossed the food and had emptied the wine she had bought for their dinner all by herself. Finding Joe at her door then had been a welcome surprise. She knew where they were headed too the second she saw him. Even though he tried to maintain his composure, Natalie could see right through him, his despair, and his vulnerability, which she found strangely arousing. And of course, both knew where they were headed too once Joe accepted her invitation to come in and “talk”. They had actually talked a bit, about his disappointment with the whole MCC mess and his fucked up girlfriend; and Natalie had briefly mentioned how lonely she was most evenings in their big house, before they had fucked until 3 am that night. That night, after a third or fourth glass of wine, Joe had for the apologized to her to have made her give him that blow job the day he had reported her embezzlement. Natalie had been alright with it; they had come out with their fuck affair after all which was, as sorry as it sounded,

Yeah, well. She had opened up – a little, just a tiny little bit – about how she had once thought she could make change happen in an exec position in corrections, only to be compromised by the system. She once had even fooled herself in believing her husband’s political career might contribute to making some of these changes, but knew that for a long time, they had just milked the system for their own benefits.

After this night, Natalie could no longer feel contempt for Caputo who once was nothing more than a sorry-ass excuses for a man for her. She began to see him as a good man, still with a lot of flaws, but who didn’t actually have these? He was as fucked up as she was, only he was a man, and didn’t have to put up so many fucking guards as she had. The next day, after he had left, Natalie had remained in bed for a long time and wondered why she didn’t feel as shitty as she thought she would after having spent the night with Joe Caputo. But she felt great. Apart from the headache caused by too much alcohol. She felt good. She felt seen, and appreciated for who she was, and thinking about sorry-looking Joe at her doorstep made her smile.

Natalie fleetingly noticed a road sign indicating that she had almost reached Albany. She checked her tachometer in surprise and cursed. She slowed down and moaned again. Life was so much fucking easier for men. Men were the ones allowed to grab women’s asses, and to shine in public. Women had to have their asses grabbed and let others stare at their tits while smiling for their picture being taken. Natalie hated it. But she had been doing it for over fifteen years now, she was perfect at it.

Joe was different. Joe was an asshole, but he also allowed her to see his weaknesses. That night, at her house, he had apologized for the day he had found her crying in her former office, and taken the blow job from her. He had actually offered to repay her in going down on her that night, telling her he still owed her. Natalie had stopped him and told him to go fuck himself – and then he had fucked her instead, and it had been one of their best fucks.

Damn, then there was the riot, and the time they spent during the negotiations with Jefferson. Looking back, Natalie had a great deal of respect not only for Tasha Jefferson, who had turned out to be an impressive opponent. She also had developed quite some respect for Joe. Of course, Natalie still thought of him as a hypocrite who was trying to get away by blaming basically everything on MCC, yet she had witnessed how much he did care for the inmates and how much he tried to help them make things better.

And now, he had asked her out for a date. Not that she thought he was the man she wanted to go out on a date with. But he was right – what did she have to lose? Just another lonely night at her empty house, getting drunk, lamenting all the missed opportunities. As stupid and lame as Joe could be, he did have his endearing and entertaining qualities. So maybe they would have an ok evening and chances where high it would end it with some excellent fucking.

Natalie passed the first suburbs of Albany, and felt glad she was almost home. Tonight, she was more than ready to go to bed, and the prospect of going out on a date, even if it was with Beer Can Caputo, wasn’t that bad after all.


	6. Wanna come in?

I can’t believe that you’re leaving,” Natalie murmured and left the stage Joe had pulled her up just a short while ago. For just a split-second she had thought they might kiss right up there; she had felt a sudden, surprising urge to press his lips onto his, and he certainly had looked like he wanted to do the same. But not here, in that sorry-ass bar, with everyone watching them on that fucking stage. Also, she hated Karaoke, and just wanted to go back to her table. Once there, Natalie sat down and took a big sip from her beer.

Joe followed her after a moment and sat down opposite of her. She encircled her beer can with her hands and looked down on it self-consciously, all the while feeling Joe’s eyes on her. After a long moment, he asked softly: “You ok, Natalie?”

Natalie furrowed her brow and looked up. “Of course, it’s just that I hate karaoke and you putting me up for show for everyone,” she barked.

Joe shuffled closer to her, moving his beer along with him. He put his hand over hers, causing Natalie to flinch, but she didn’t pull away. His hand felt warm and the warmth began to spread through her whole body, causing the tension she was feeling ever since stepping down from the stage to slowly dissolve.

“Come on, let’s just be okay for now, alright?” Joe said gently and looked into her eyes for a long moment. Then he grinned wickedly and said: “Sorry if you didn’t like being at the stage but I can tell you there wasn’t anyone here not thinking that you’re the fucking hottest babe in here.”

“Eww, don’t try and make it worse,” Natalie groaned and turned her head for a short moment. She noticed how Joe slightly tightnened his grip on her hand, as if he was afraid she might pull hers away – but she didn’t.

“Hey, come on, we came here to have a good time, remember?” Joe said and nudged her softly into her side.

Natalie bit her lips for a moment until she nodded, rolled her eyes and said: “Alright, sorry. I overreacted. Okay?”

“See, that’s the Fig,” Joe chuckled, causing Natalie to roll her eyes, but also grin at his goofiness.

Then both remained silent for another while, only sipping their beer until both had finished. After a moment of playing with her empty can, Natalie grinned almost shyly, looked at Joe while shaking back her hair and said. “Jeez, you’re a not too bad singer. And I am not going to tell you ever again.”

Joe looked at her and smiled a broad smile. He lightly squeezed her left hand which made Natalie realize that he was still holding it, and she quickly pulled it away. She stared at the large ring decorating her middle finger for a sometime before she asked slowly: “So, should we have another beer or…?”

“That’s up to you,” Joe replied. “I told you I wanted to get to know the real Natalie. So if the real Natalie wants another beer we’ll have one. But if the real Natalie would rather like to do something else now…”

Natalie cocked her head and raised her eyebrows. “Yeah, I think I’d rather not have another one.”

“Okay, let’s go,” Joe said and almost jumped up. Natalie got up too and didn’t even mind Joe taking her by her hand while they were leaving the bar and walked back to Joe’s car which was parked just around the corner. They didn’t need to speak a work for agreeing they would go to Joe’s place. Likewise, they spent the whole drive in silence. Natalie leaned back in her seat and watched the street, trying to distract herself from suddenly feeling very self- conscious in Joe’s presence. After a few minutes of driving in silence, Joe put his right hand on Natalie’s thigh, and noticed to his satisfaction that she didn’t flinch and didn’t seem to mind him touching her this intimately at all.

Once he pulled up in front of his house, Joe switched off the engine. His right hand remained on Natalie’s thigh and he looked at her, asking: “So do you wanna come in?” He briefly paused and said with his mouth twitching: “I know it’s only our first date, but maybe you wanna see my collection of baseball cards?”

Natalie threw her head back and laughed: “Yeah, well, at our age we are beyond any of those first date concerns, I guess, so sure I’ll come on in. But I’d rather you show me something else,” she added in a seductive voice.

Joe got out of his car and walked around it. But before he even reached the passenger door Natalie opened it and climbed out. “Thanks, gentleman,” she said in a low voice, raising her eyebrows seductively. But she didn’t seem to mind when he gently took her hand into his while walking towards his front door. When they stopped, Joe slid his key into the lock, but instead of unlocking the door, he turned around, faced Natalie and said: “Thanks for coming along, Nat..”

Then he unlocked the door and Natalie followed him inside. Joe didn’t switch on the lights. Instead, he closed the door and gently but steadily backed Natalie up against the now closed door. “Okay, babe, I wanted to do this all fucking night because you look so fucking hot and if you make me wait one second longer I am going to explode,” he moaned and began kissing her. They had never really kissed, their normal fucking routine didn’t include kissing. Also, he usually fucked her from behind and they had never actually looked into each other’s eyes and faces while having sex. But now, for both of them, it felt like the right thing to do.

Natalie moaned and pulled his shirt from his pants. She slipped her hands under his shirt and Joe felt her long fingernails softly scratch his back, causing him to wail in anticipation. He fumbled with his belt and yanked down his pants and boxers in one swift movement. He pressed his hips against Natalie who also pulled down her pants and panties. Next, she steadied herself against his hips and took off her high heels while also shedding her pants. Joe noticed how she suddenly was quite a bit shorter than himself. “That’s better”, he whispered and directed the fingers of his right hand to her clitoris, causing her to dig her fingernails deep into his skin; he briefly wondered whether he might be bleeding already.

“Joe, wait,” Natalie said after another moment. “Let’s move it upstairs. I could do with a bit more comfortable right now.”

Joe grunted and dragged her upstairs to his bedroom after he, too, had stepped out of his jeans and boxers. On their way upstairs Joe awkwardly shed his shirt and once they had reached his bedroom he almost violently threw Natalie on his bed. Next he dragged her top over her head. His body pinned her down and while she kept scratching his back and his sides with her nails. Joe reached for the box of condoms on his nightstand and slipped one on. Once he got himself ready to press into her, Natalie stilled him by putting her hands on his breast. “No, turn around, on your back,” she said hoarsely and Joe did as she wanted him to. Next, Natalie sat down on top of him and angled herself so that he could enter her in one smooth movement. Both moaned in unison and Joe groaned: “Woah, that feels so good,” Joe panted. “You’re hot as hell, Natalie, you’re so damn fucking hot.”

Natalie just watched him as their movements became quicker and more intense. Soon, both reached their climax, almost in the same moment and once she cried out in extasy, Natalie sunk down and buried her face in the crook of Joe’s neck. He did the same and the two took a few moments catching their breath.

Joe felt his breath slow down again, and took in the scent of Natalie’s hair. He wondered how he had never before really cared about really seeing and feeling her, or smelling her scent. Then, much too soon to his taste, Natalie moved away from him. “Give me the fucking duvet, I am getting cold,” she said, rolling away from him while beginning to pull at the duvet. Joe moved in order to free the fabric, and Natalie slipped under it, also covering Joe’s body in the process. Natalie shuffled herself to a comfortable position. Then she looked around and said: “Did you move the furniture?”

Joe, still dizzy from their heated encounter didn’t know how to respond at first. “How is it that this of all thing comes to your mind now?” he asked

“I wondered why the hell you would be moving the furniture days before you are going to leave town anyway?”

Joe let out a long breath. “Yeah, well, I was bored the other day and thought I’d see how it looked with the bed this way. Turns out I like it and I don’t know why I never thought about having it like this in the past thirty years.”

Natalie pursed her lips and closed her eyes for a moment. She sighed, and said: “That was good. Too bad you’re leaving.” She hummed in contentment, her eyes still closed.

Joe moved closer to her, so their arms were toughing, and turned his head towards her. “Well, I’ll still be around for two more weeks. And maybe you’ve heard of those things they call airplanes. I could come visit. Or you could, you know, come visit me?”

“Meh,” Natalie said. “And meet in some fucking cheap motel or where?”

Joe rolled his eyes and breathed in and out audibly. “We don’t have to talk about this now. But I am going to keep the house for a while, so we might meet here, you know.”

“What, you’re going to keep this place?”

“Yeah, I don’t need to sell right away. I thought I’d go to Missouri but maybe just rent it out, not sell right away. See whether another job may be coming up in the next year. One closer to here, you know.”

Natalie opened her eyes and turned so she came to lie on her right side, facing Joe. “Oh come on, don’t play martyr here. You could have said no to that bitch.”

Joe shrugged his shoulders. “Yeah, I could have. But what then?” he said, with a slightly bitter undertone.

“Oh no, we’re not discussing your sorry job conditions now, not after a reasonably good evening,” Natalie complained, lightly punching him into his side. “I mean you were the one who wanted to have a good time, so don’t start this shit now. Change of topic: How about a glass of scotch for a nightcap? And I should probably leave, it’s late.”

Joe turned to his nightstand to glance at his alarm clock, turned back and said:” You’re not driving back to Albany, Natalie. It’s going on midnight and you’re tired and had a few drinks.”

“I think I am old enough to make my own decisions,” Natalie snapped, turning herself on her back again. “I don’t need you to watch out for me.”

Joe sat up, looked down at her and said in a firm voice: “Oh yes, I think I do. Whatever stupid form of pride it is that makes you say this, you are going to stay here. I’ll sleep on the couch if you want, but I won’t let you drive anywhere right now.”

Natalie rolled her eyes chuckled. “Oh boy, you’re such a delicate flower. But alright, if it makes you feel better, I’ll stay. Saves me the commute tomorrow morning.”

Joe grinned a satisfied grin and got up. “Alright, I’ll get you your nightcap and get the couch ready.”

“Wait,” Natalie said firmly, sat up and held out her hand for him. “Stop that stupid couch business. Whoever wakes up first gets to decide the position for the morning fuck.”

Joe pinched his eyes and grinned mischievously. “Alright, I am taking you up on this, Fig.” He went to his wardrobe and pulled out a white T-Shirt which he threw onto the bed. “Here, so you’re not getting cold tonight,” he said, his grin widening.

Natalie unfolded the piece of fabric and grimaced when she noticed the washed-out print on its front. “Side Boob, really? Eww, you did this on purpose.”

Joe chuckled: “Of course I did. Come on, wear it. I’d say it’s a turn on but you’re so damn hot that I don’t really need one.”

“Fuck off and get me that whisky, Joe,” Natalie shouted, looking for a pillow to throw at Joe who hurried to get out of the room.


	7. Conflicting Feelings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long to update. I have to admit that I struggled at lot with the chapter and still am not overly happy because it lacks the flow I wanted it to have. But since I just didn't manage to improve it even after the umpteenth edit, I decided to put it up and let it go.

#  Conflicting feelings

It was going on 7 pm the next day when Natalie pulled up her in front of her house. She locked her convertible and slowly walked towards the entrance door, rummaging for her keys in her bag on the way. Natalie unlocked the door and entered the dark hallway. The house was quiet, and Natalie waited a few seconds before she switched on the lights; she was relieved to be home where she finally would have some much-needed privacy so she could process her conflicting feelings which had been bothering her all day. Looking into the dark hallway, Natalie thought about how even though she didn’t know Jason’s whereabouts, she no longer cared. For almost two decades, she had known Jason’s schedule as well as her own – even during those troubling past weeks, after they had stopped being a couple.

Natalie eventually switched on the lights, slowly walked across the hallway and thought how even though she was already craving a large glass of red wine, tonight wouldn’t just be another lonely night during which she would be drowning her loneliness in more than one bottle of wine. For once, she actually felt glad that Jason wasn’t at home and likely wouldn’t return anytime soon. After rushing from one disaster to another at work all day, she was now finally all by herself and would find some time and space to think about what had happened between the two of them last night, and, most likely, in the days and weeks before. 

Natalie stopped in front of the hallway closet, opened it and hung her coat. Then, she paused when she noticed her image in the mirror on the inside of the closet door. She thought about how she had woken up next to Joe this morning. Joe had been awake already, watching her sleep. According to their agreement it was his choice to have sleepy, slow, morning sex. At first, Natalie had grimaced and told him how this wasn’t what she was in for, but Joe had reminded her that it was his right according to her rule from the night before. But then, and although she would never have admitted it to him, she discovered how much she enjoyed being close to – him, to Joe. She had enjoyed being entangled in his musky scent, feeling his stubble scratch her skin and feeling his kisses and murmuring words of affection all over her face and neck. Even now, hours later, just thinking of that moment caused her skin to tingle and she felt the shivers of excitement Joe’s caresses had caused her.

Once they were done, though, Natalie had suddenly felt overwhelmed from everything; the closeness and intimacy, her feelings toward Joe and his warm and tender embrace. So she had left the bed, and almost fled his house. It was as if her flight instinct had kicked in. She had made up an excuse of being late for an early meeting, but all she had wanted was getting out of his place. Now, all alone in her silent house, Natalie could no longer escape the truth: She was beginning to develop serious feelings towards Joe, and it made her feel uncomfortable. It had been a very long time since she had had feelings for another man. Jason was the only man she had ever truly loved. She had had a few flings, even during their marriage, but these had meant nothing, had only been momentarily outbursts of lust, or means to get rid of the loneliness that came with being the wife of an ambitious lawyer and politician. And now Joe. Joe, who was probably the most unlikely man for her to be attracted to. She had not felt as comfortable and appreciated as she had last night in months, if not years, and it puzzled her how Joe Caputo, of all people, should be able to elicit these kinds of feelings from her.

Natalie groaned and closed the door of the closet. Then she rummaged through her bag which she had set on the small bureau next to the closet until she found her phone. Next, she stepped out of her shoes, kicking them towards the wall, and walked into the kitchen where she switched on a single lamp hanging over the kitchen island in the middle of the large room. She made a beeline to the wine cooler in the back of the room and took out a bottle of red wine which she placed on the adjacent counter, together with her phone which she still carried. Then she took a wine glass from a cabinet on the wall, opened the bottle and poured herself a generous helping, turned around and casually leaned against the counter before taking a large sip of the red liquid. 

She remained there for a few moments, slowly sipping her wine, enjoying the silence. After a few minutes, Natalie put down her now empty glass and refilled it and took another sip before walking over to the counter in the middle of the room where the housekeeper had put their mail. Natalie skimmed through the pile of envelopes, relieved that nothing seemed to require her attention. Then she looked around in the kitchen, which was as spotless as ever. It was the largest kitchen they ever had in a house, and Natalie thought how it was now of no use to them. With all her eating disorders, she had always had a difficult relationship with kitchens. Jason was a reasonably good cook, but he hardly ever got do to some cooking, not since his career had picked up speed, and not since he had begun spending so much time out of the house.

Natalie breathed out and turned towards the fridge. She opened it and quickly scanned its contents, checking whether the housekeeper had done the grocery shopping as per their preferences. Natalie briefly considered having something of the couscous salad she had asked Maja to buy but then decided against it. The wine already had enough calories, she needn’t add any more carbohydrates. So she closed the fridge and went back to where she had put down her phone. She briefly checked the lock-screen and found there was no new message. Despite her being troubled by the events, Natalie had half-expected a call or a message from Joe (she hated receiving calls, and kept asking him to message, which he never did, with resulted in her to have to bother to listen to her voicemail all the fucking time). But there was neither, no call, no message, and she hated to admit that she was disappointed about not hearing from him.

Upstairs, Natalie walked straight into the bathroom which was connected to her bedroom, placed the wine bottle and glass as well as her phone on the floor next to the bathtub and drew herself a bath. Then she returned to the bedroom where she took off her clothes which she tossed onto the bed.

Now naked, Natalie went back into the bathroom where she took a towel from a small sideboard at the wall and put it down next to her wine and phone. Then she stepped into the tub and slowly let herself sink into the hot water, sliding in until the water reached her neck and chin. She never added any bubble bath or soap or the like, she liked plain hot water. After a few seconds she sat up again and turned off the water. Then she wiped her hands at the towel on the floor, took a few sips of wine and unlocked her phone. No message. She opened the Spotify app and set “I’m on fire” on repeat. “Fuck you, Joe” she thought. How did he do this, she hated Springsteen, always had, and still did, but since last night, this particular song suddenly had taken on a whole lot of meaning for her.

With a soft moan, Natalie let herself slip into the water again. She began to lightly move her hands over her belly and her breasts and back again and down to Tracy. She slowly began circling her clit with two fingers of her right hand and started softly pinching her left nipple with her left. It didn’t take her long to get herself off and she noticed that during all the time she was masturbating, she had been thinking of Joe’s face, the one where he was grinning mischievously when he wanted her to come up to the stage in that karaoke bar.

For a long moment after her climax had ebbed off, Natalie quietly lay in the hot water, watching the ceiling and trying to make sense of what she was feeling. Fuck, why did she have to think about Joe all the time? He used to be that stupid caveman, a subordinate whom she had despised from her first day at Litchfield, many many years ago. They had butted heads countless times and she had never tired of complaining about that primitive ignorant asshole, with his community college degree, completely lacking any talent or ambition, who was jerking off on the poor women under his care and playing some horribly amateurish rock band with a bunch of other idiots.

When exactly had this changed, Natalie wondered. When had her feelings toward Joe changed from contempt to – what, exactly? Well, obviously they had realized at some point that they were a perfect match in bed. For her, this had come at a very low point in her life, not long after she had discovered Jason being in love with another man. Realizing how fucking much she could Joe off with just her presence, not even taking off her clothes, had made her feel wanted again, and given her the kind of reassurance of her femineity that she so desperately needed but her husband could give her no longer.

She had only agreed to go on a date with Joe out of boredom; at least she had told this to herself. Secretly, she knew this was a lie. She had been pleased to be asked out, and she had not only hoped the night would end with a good fuck. She had been looking forward to spending some time, doing just about anything, with Joe. Hell, and then, last night had turned into the best night she’d had in a very long time, resulting in her thinking of Joe Caputo constantly since she had left his goddam house this morning.

“Fuck you, Joe”, Natalie shouted suddenly and almost jumped out of the bathtub. She violently rubbed herself dry, put on a pair of yoga pants and a sweater she retrieved from her wardrobe and returned to the bathroom where she drained the bathtub and took her wine glass and bottle with her back into the bedroom. She refilled her glass and snuggled up in her bed after she had taken the remote from her nightstand. She switched on the TV and started streaming another episode of “Younger” which she recently had gotten into.

* * *

It was 8:30 in the morning when Natalie woke up. She had to look at her phone twice out of surprise, because she hardly ever slept that long. Then she checked her phone again, just in case she might have missed a message, and, when she didn’t, slammed her phone back on the nightstand, angry with herself for thinking about Joe first thing after waking up. She had gotten used to sleeping alone and she didn’t mind most of the time, but it had felt very comfortable waking up next to Joe last morning. 

Not willing to spend another day being troubled by her emotions, Natalie decided she needed to take her mind off of Joe and whatever it was that was going on between them. Therefore, she quickly got dressed, packed her gym bag and drove to her gym where she ran the treadmill for an hour, followed by another thirty minutes swimming in the pool. After having showered, she briefly returned home to change her clothes and have a quick lunch – after all the exercise, she felt she had deserved eating the couscous salad.

After a short break filled with two more episodes of Younger, Natalie went shopping. She and Jason were going to attend a dinner party this evening; something they had agreed on a while ago. Even though they were practically separated, Natalie had agreed to keep appearances for the time being and still accompany Jason to certain events. In return, he readily paid for whatever new pieces of wardrobe she bought in her function as as “Mrs State Senator”.

Natalie normally liked to shop around a few of her favorite stores during Saturday afternoons, but unlike her, on this day, she bought the first dress she tried on, a navy-blue long dress with a low neckline and short sleeves. It was much plainer than what she usually preferred, but she noticed how she just wasn’t in the mood for shopping, yet felt Jason owed her another dress. Once she had paid for the dress, Natalie bought herself a cup of coffee and walked through the upscale mall, trying to kill some time before she had to be back home in two hours time in order to get ready for the dinner invitation. When she passed a lingerie store, Natalie suddenly stopped. She paused for a brief moment, then entered the small boutique. She had a look at a few new items and then, in a spontaneous shopping frenzy, bought all of them, still on Jason’s credit card.

Feeling light, Natalie then left the store and the mall and went home. There, she was surprised to find Jason on the couch watching some football match.

“Your’re early,” she stated matter-of-factly, not bothering with a proper greeting, while standing in the door-frame of the living room.

“Hey, I thought we’d have lunch together,” Jason said while turning to face her. “Seems I was late.”

“I thought we’re up for dinner,” Natalie replied snarkily.

“Hey, good to see you, Nat,” Jason said, switched off the TV while jumping up from the sofa and approaching her with open arms.

Natalie let him embrace her but did not return it.

“You look great,” Jason said while staking a step back and looking her up and down. “Thanks for coming along tonight.”

Natalie rolled her eyes. “No reason to thank me. You know I know how much we owe Robert. But just don’t think I am going to have fun. I’ll be stuck with boring Catharine, and this is the really bad part of it. At least they always have good wine.”

Jason playfully nudged her left upper arm with his hand. “Yeah, I know. I am sorry. As much as I love Rob, Catharine always meant well, but she’s just a bit too much.”

Natalie rolled her eyes. Rob was Jason’s former boss at his law firm, and a major supporter of his political career. They had dinner every few months, and Natalie usually sat with Rob’s wife Catharine while the men were talking politics. Natalie would have preferred to join their conversation, but Catharine hated everything that had to do with politics, her husband’s job or other societal topics. She usually expressed her surprise about a beautiful woman like Natalie working in a men’s business such as corrections and then went on to talk about her numerous children and grandchildren, showing Natalie all the latest photos and drawn pictures and so on.

“Yeah, well. It’s part of the deal, and I made you pay for a new dress,” Natalie groaned.

Jason chuckled. “See, each of us gets their benefits out of it.”

* * *

A few hours later, just after midnight, Jason and Natalie were on their way back home. “Thanks, Nat, for putting up with this, you know I appreciate you backing me up, after all that I have done.”

Natalie huffed. “Yeah, I don’t know why I am doing this but I guess it’s for old times’ sake.”

There was a long moment of awkward silence, before Jason said: “Listen, I am going to drop you off at the house and go over to Gavin’s.”

Another moment of silence passed, before Natalie replied in a hoarse voice: “Do whatever you have to.”

“Look, I am sorry. We said we’d keep these things from each other. But he texted me a few times this evening. He’s not feeling well. His mom had a stroke this afternoon, and he only got a flight for tomorrow morning. I just… I need to see him. Make sure he’s alright, okay?”

Natalie let out an audible breath but didn’t say anything. She didn’t feel like getting into an argument. She was tired, and had to deal with her conflicting feelings towards Joe and for once was not up to get into the details of her fucked up marriage to a gay man.

So they spent the rest of the drive in silence and kept their good-bye short once they had reached the house. As the night before, Natalie entered a dark and empty house, but just as last night, Natalie didn’t really mind, she was quite happy to finally have some peace and quiet after having had to listen to Catharine’s blabbering for five hours straight.

Natalie went upstairs and quickly got ready for bed. But after she had switched off the lights she found that she wasn’t able to sleep, because even though her body was tired, her mind was still wide awake. After tossing and turning for a while, she finally reached for her phone, and typed a message. She deleted it and typed again. She needed five attempts until she pressed send, having written

_“Thanks for the date. I had a great night.”_

She didn’t really expect a response, but after only a few seconds, Joe replied

_“I thought u didn’t want to get in touch again. Glad you liked it. U on for another date?”_

Natalie grinned. Of course she was.

_“Yeah, how about Tuesday night?”_.

Again, his reply arrived within a few seconds: _“Why r u still awake?”_

_“Just back from dinner invitation”_

_“Was it good?”_

_“Food or company?”_

_“Both”_

_“Neither”_

_“sorry bout that”_

Natalie put her phone down. She was still grinning like a teenager, and it troubled her. Still, it felt good. She wasn’t certain what to write, and also why she had written to him in the first place. She considered just putting her phone into flight mode and try to go to sleep when another message arrived.

_“Hey, if u r like me & can’t sleep, wanna come over?”_

“No!” Natalie exclaimed, but at the same time, her belly felt warm all of a sudden. And the thought of slipping into bed with Joe, sleeping next to him and waking up together, wasn’t that appalling at all. She didn’t have any plans for tomorrow. If she went over now, they would have plenty of time for fucking. And she wouldn’t have to spend the day in the same house as a worried Jason who would certainly check in with Gavin every five minutes. And anyway, he would be leaving for Missouri in some ten days, it wasn’t as if this was really getting somewhere. She’d merely make the best out of the few days he’d still be around.

Natalie switched on the lights and got up again. She quickly changed into a pair of jeans and a cashmere sweater, packed a few clothing items and toiletries into a bag she took from her wardrobe, and went downstairs.

It was about 45 minutes later when she rang Joe’s door bell. It took him a while to open the door and from his look he had just woken up, his face was sleepy and he was wearing a wrinkled T-Shirt and his boxers. When he saw Natalie, Joe’s face showed an expression changing between surprise and relief. Eventually, he grinned widely and said: “Fig! I didn’t think you were really coming.”

“Yeah, well, I couldn’t sleep anyway, so I thought the drive over here might do the trick and make me sleepy,” she replied, trying to sound annoyed, but there was a certain lightness to her that even Joe could detect. “But I see that you fell asleep in the meantime. So I might just head back,” she continued, partly serious, partly mocking.

“Like hell you will,” Joe cried, and opened the door, ushering her inside. Natalie entered the hallway and put down her bag, shrugged off her coat and stepped out of her shoes.

“What’s in the bag?” Joe asked.

“Oh, I thought I might stay another night to save me the commute on Monday morning. That is if you don’t mind?” Natalie looked at him questioningly.

Joe grinned and shook his head. “That’s not a real question, is it?” he said, and then asked: “Want a drink? Something to eat?”

Natalie shook her head. “Actually, I could do with a bed. Just sleep. I wasn’t joking when I said that the drive made me tired.” After what she had had at dinner, she would probably not have been suitable for driving anyway, but she certainly would not tell Joe.

The two went upstairs and Joe watched Natalie getting ready for bed. They both slipped under the duvet simultaneously and Natalie said: “Ok, no touching, I really want to sleep.”

Joe grinned and kissed her on the cheek. “Alright, and I’ll grant you the authority to decide what we are doing after waking up,” he murmured into her ear.

“Good night, beer can,” Natalie grunted. “And by the way, don’t think it’s a good idea making me breakfast. I never have breakfast, just coffee.”

Joe grinned. She was back.


	8. ... and the morning after

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was originally a part of the chapter before but after I struggled with that one for so long, this next one about the morning after did not fit anymore. So I decided to post it separately, as it also didn't really fit into the actual next chapter, but I wanted to keep it for variour reasons.

The next morning, Joe woke up before Natalie. He watched her sleep for a while, and felt conflicted about waking her up or making breakfast. His erection made him want to throw himself on her, but he didn’t want to piss her off by waking her up; after all, it was only the second time they woke up together and he wasn’t quite certain what her reaction might be.

Instead, he decided to take his mind off his sexual fantasies and went downstairs where he made coffee and prepared some things for breakfast. When the coffee was ready, Joe poured two mugs and returned to the bedroom where he put down one mug on Natalie’s nightstand before slipping into his side of the bed. Not long after, Natalie began to stir and woke up. She looked puzzled at first, but then smiled: “Oh, wow, can I have this every day? Coffee in bed – and,” she paused and looked sternly at Joe:” I am dead serious when I say that I won’t tolerate any attempt at conversation until I had my first one?”

Joe nodded towards her cup and said: “Alright, drink up, babe.”

Natalie sat up and took her first sip of coffee. “That’s some strong coffee you’re brewing there,” she murmured while resting her head on the wall behind her, her eyes closed. Joe watched her in admiration. Just as two days ago, she wasn’t wearing any makeup, her hair was tousled and this made her look at lot younger. Also, she seemed entirely satisfied; she didn’t have her guards as high up as usual, and neither did she seem as stressed and annoyed. He was intrigued. Was this the real Natalie then? 

He was tempted to ask her why she had come over in the middle of the night, but he knew better than to risk spoiling the moment. They still weren’t a thing; even though he sensed that they were about to navigate some entirely new territory within their relationship, he wasn’t sure whether Natalie with her usual way of shielding her inner self against the outer world wouldn’t feel she’d have to defend herself and just dismiss his interest as overstepping.

Instead, he put down his mug and slid down along his mattress until he came to lie on his back. He closed his eyes and focused on his other senses. He marveled at Natalie’s scent around him while listening to her breathing and taking an occasional sip from her coffee. He wondered whether she was watching him but didn’t move or open his eyes.

After a long while, he heard her putting her mug down on her nightstand. Next, he felt her shuffle closer to him and then an electric jolt flashed through him when she touched him. She didn’t do so gently; she immediately reached under the duvet and grabbed his dick.

“Okay, so you said my blowjobs suck. So I might just skip it and give you a hand job then, if you prefer.”

Joe groaned. This was already too much. “Oh no,” he said hoarsely. “I was a goddam idiot. I’ve never had a better blowjob. Oh, fuck, stop it or I won’t last any longer, Fig, please,” he winced and tried to escape her grip. But Natalie persisted and Joe continued, now panting heavily: “I apologize, alright? I am sorry, that whole thing was just a real… fuck-up.. on my side. I should never have. –“ he stopped when all of a sudden he felt Natalie taking him into her mouth. “Woah, easy, babe,” he moaned, but Natalie didn’t stop and it only took a few more seconds and Joe came almost without warning.

A few minutes later, after he had calmed down again, he looked over to Natalie who was now sitting next to him, cradling her coffee with two hands. She grinned and said: “Sorry, but I needed to redeem myself. No one ever said my blowjobs sucked. I couldn’t just let this stand between us.”

Joe opened his mouth but was unable to say something. Natalie put down her mug, chuckled lightly and bent over towards Joe to playfully tickle his belly. “Joe, you’re really sweet – and this is coming from me who never appreciates anything sweet in people.”

Joe pinched his eyes and chuckled, too. “Stop it, Fig. I am sorry, okay, I am going to say it, I am sorry. I should never have forced you that day, and you definitely didn’t suck that day. You never suck, by the way.”

“Okay, we’re even,” Natalie decided and sat up again. “So what are we going to do today?” she asked.

Joe looked at her, his eyes wandering from her face down her body which was covered by her leopard-print negligee. “How ‘bout I repay you with my tongue?” he suggested.

“Nah, not interested,” Natalie said, seemingly bored. “I prefer the beer can.”

“Sorry, but then you’ll have to wait a short while.”

“Alright then. I’ll go take a shower,” she replied and got out of bed. Joe watched her leave the room for the bathroom and smiled. They were definitely moving toward another level. He tried to ignore the fact that he was about to leave for fucking Missouri, and that it would certainly be difficult to get her to commit to anything, but for now, he didn’t want to think about any of it. He decided they should make the most out of the few days he was still in town.

He got out of bed and went into the bathroom where he smelled her shampoo or shower gel. How long was it that a woman had spent some time here, he wondered, time longer than a fuck or a one-night stand? Years, he thought.

“Here’s a fresh towel,” he said and put it on the towel ring outside of the shower.

Next, he began to shave, watching in the mirror how Natalie stepped out of the shower and toweling herself off.

“How is it your house is always that clean?” Natalie asked. “I would expect someone like you to live in a complete mess.”

“Hey, what, just because I am old and single and don’t make enough to pay a maid?” Joe complained and turned around to face her. Then he explained: “It’s the only area where my mom, in every other way very traditional, taught my brothers and me to take care of ourselves. She used to say that with all the girls now wanting to work and have careers, we needed to be prepared to clean and cook, or else, we’d never get a wife.”

“Yeah, worked out well for you, huh?” Natalie sneered, and went to the bedroom in order to get dressed.

Now, Joe stepped into the shower and shouted: “I may never have married, but I’ve been in a few relationships where we shared responsibilities, just so you know.”

He made quick work with the shower gel, then stepped out of the shower, dried himself and went to the bedroom where Natalie was, now fully dressed in the same pair of jeans from last night and an elegant black blouse with single silver threads woven in.

“So is she still alive? Your mom?” Natalie asked, rummaging through her toiletry bag.

“Yeah, going on eighty, living with my brother near Boston. She used to live in the Bronx until ten years ago. She’s doing quite alright, you know, Italian ladies, they’re like weeds, nothing keeps them down.”

Natalie grinned. She went to the bathroom and Joe, still naked, followed her. He remained in the door frame, watching her put on her make up. “I never got why women are putting all those things into their faces,” he said.

Natalie shot him an angry glance. “Oh yeah? Maybe because men keep commenting on women’s looks all the time, and maybe because a woman’s look decides on the job she gets, on the guy she gets, on basically anything she can achieve?”

Joe lifted his hands in defense. “Whoa, sorry. All I wanted to say is that you are looking hot as hell without all that stuff painted in your face, fuck yeah you do. So you don’t have to do it just for me.”

Natalie cocked her head. “Oh yeah? What if I wanted to do it for myself then?”

Joe pressed his lips together. This seemed too sensitive a topic to discuss right now.

“Alright, I’ll get dressed and go downstairs. What do you want for breakfast? Pancakes? Eggs? Anything else?

“I am gluten and dairy-free, thank you very much,” Natalie snapped. “And I am generally not the breakfast type.”

Joe, who had done some quick reading on eating disorders after what Natalie had told him during their date, knew better than to try to convince her to have something. Instead he said: “Alright, I am going to have some eggs, and if you want, you’ll grab a bite.”

He went downstairs and began to fry himself some eggs. A few minutes later, Natalie came down. She refilled her coffee mug and then silently sat down at the dining table and watched Joe get his breakfast ready. He had placed a few apples and grapefruits in a bowl along with a small knife, and while he began tucking into his enormous plate of eggs, Natalie began slicing an apple for herself.


	9. Will you come back on Sunday?

Natalie spent most nights of the following week at Joe’s. She kept telling herself that it was just for saving herself the commute, but she couldn’t help feeling giddy every time she pulled up in front of Joe’s house and entered the kitchen where Joe normally would be busy preparing dinner. Even though she never ate more than a few bites, she appreciated him cooking what he assumed she liked. And Natalie had to admit that he was an excellent cook and appreciated that he just kept preparing meals, even though he was well aware of her difficult relationship towards all kinds of food.

They had quickly fallen into a morning routine: Waking up early, having a quick fuck, taking a shower and briefly planning their evening over a mug of coffee in the kitchen before Natalie left for work.

“How about we go on another date tonight?” Joe asked. “It’s Friday, let’s celebrate the weekend, alright?”

“Umm, no, I’ll stay in Albany tonight,” Natalie said while filling her travel mug with coffee at the coffee machine.

“Oh, okay,” Joe said and looked down on his cup. After a few seconds he lifted his head and asked: “Will you come over tomorrow or on Sunday?”

Natalie turned around to faced him and smiled. “I want to do a few things tomorrow and I’ll visit my friend for her birthday tomorrow night. But I’ll see you on Sunday.”

Joe nodded. “Alright then, have a nice party.”

Natalie rolled her eyes. “Yeah, well, her husband left her a few weeks ago, I think we’ll all just get drunk and complain about the asshole men in our lives.”

Joe pursed his lips, causing Natalie to chuckle. “Present company excepted,” she said, playfully nudging Joe with her shoulder. “Hey, listen, we’re having a good time, and I am not going to let those last days of Joe Caputo in town go to waste, okay? Just have to do a few things I had planned a while ago but I’ll be back on Sunday.”

Joe bent forward and gave her a quick kiss on her cheek, anticipating her movement away from him. “Hey, don’t get all girly on me, alright? “Natalie said. “See you on Sunday then, beer can,” she shouted grabbing her purse and walking out of the house to her car.

On Sunday, Joe woke up early. He got up and first went to the gym. He had noticed how he was feeling much better with regular exercise, and now with Natalie permanently on his mind, exercise was both taking his mind off of her insanely sexy body as well as helping him improve his stamina.

When he had first asked her out, he hadn’t been entirely sure whether she would accept. Then he found himself getting more and more excited the closer he got to the actual date. Then the date itself had gone completely different from what he had planned, but it had turned out to be even better. Who would have thought that a karaoke night would lead to them discover they felt more for each other than their mutual like-hate friendship they had fostered over the past year or so?

On his way back from the gym, Joe picked up a few groceries including stocking up on red wine, as he knew Natalie liked it.

Back home, he made himself a sandwich and took a break on his couch. He checked his phone for a message, but as expected, there was none. He went to open his favourite porn site, but when he heard the first female moans he immediately closed it again. Suddenly it felt like a betrayal towards Natalie, he thought. How silly, there wasn’t really going anything on between them, nothing new. But still, they had somehow bonded in a new way by being around each other so much for the past ten days.

With a sigh, he lifted himself up, retrieved a beer from the fridge and went to the garage which he planned to clear out before moving to Missouri. After looking over the many things piled up during his almost twenty years of staying at the place, Joe put on a Springsteen playlist on his phone and decided he would begin with the oldest stuff and go forward in years.

“Hello Joe. If I was you, I’d lock my door, unless you want to have anyone barge in at anytime,” he suddenly heard a snarky voice from the garage door.

“Jesus, Natalie, what are you doing here? What time is it?” Joe had been rummaging through the boxes in the back corner of the garage, boxes that had been sitting there for decades. “I didn’t hear your car.”

“It’s 2.30, and no wonder you can’t hear anything with that crap noise on. Do you mind putting it out?”

Joe had walked up to her and leaned in to kiss her on the mouth. He noticed, how Natalie flinched before giving in to the kiss. But Joe did not stop, slid down his arms down her sides and grabbed her ass with both hands. “Hello gorgeous,” he whispered into their kiss and felt Natalie’s lips widen into a smile.

“Hey beer can”, she replied. “And just so you know, you’re actually tasting like one.”

Joe took a step back and decided to overhear her remark. “Damn, Natalie, you look really hot.”

“Oh come on, you’re just want to get laid,” she replied, but he could tell she liked his eyes on her. And she was hot as hell. She was wearing a tight-fitting blue jean and a loosely knit navy sweater through which he suspected seeing the fabric of her black lace bra. She had tied her hair into a loose bun which he had never before seen on her and she was hardly wearing any makeup.

“You bet I do. But I really like that Sunday afternoon no frills look on you, Nat,” he said.

“You need any help in clearing out this mess?” Natalie said while looking around.

“Oh no, I’m fine with you being around and cheering me up while I clear out whatever shit is in here.”

Natalie chuckled. “Not that I would actually touch a thing in here. Just got my nails done,” she replied and sat down on an old deck chair before dusting it with her hand. “Now back to work. The sooner you start, the sooner I might give you your reward,” she said, gesturing towards the many boxes still not touched.


End file.
